Satya and Communicating with Compassion
/"Satya, means ‘truth’ or ‘not lying’. When we live in our truth, we are honest with our feelings, thoughts, words and deeds" (pulled this definition from a great article @ princetonyoga.com* full citation below more reading).
Aaron and I just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary in June. We started dating when I was just 19, so we have been together for around ten years--about 1/3 of our lives.
We are generally pretty complacent about our relationship--always talking about how and why it's so good. But, just like every other person in any kind of relationship (friends, family, lovers), we are constantly working on our communication skills. Before I delve into my thoughts on this, I want to be clear that I am not an expert on this. I mess it up all the time, but just like any other person, I am practicing. I constantly remind myself, "Okay, Jessica. Speak from your heart...." Okay, so here we go.
I can't exactly speak for Aaron on this, but for me, a huge part of being able to speak with Aaron, to really express how I feel, is just being able to honestly talk with myself first. This really applies to talking with anyone--partners to coworkers. Being able to to communicate starts a the most basic inner level of being able to communicate with yourself.
Can you actively listen to yourself? Like really listen? Can you tap into your youness? Like tap into the place in you (beyond your ego) that we refer to when we say "Namaste"--your well of universal truth. For example, ask yourself, "What do I want?" and record your answer quickly. Now, ask yourself, "What do I really want?" Maybe your answers are the same, but I find my second answer usually reflects my true self or my honest self (my non-ego self) more accurately.
Okay, so satya is very important for communicating with yourself--getting in tune with what's really important and what really matters. Only when you have been honest with yourself and you have filled your well with truth and love can you then authentically communicate with someone else.
Communicating with someone else:
Step 1: Be honest with yourself
Step 2: Drop from judgement down to empathy and understanding
Once you have found your Satya and filled your well with self-compassion, it is much easier to open yourself up to other people, and really communicate with compassion.
Step 3: Speak from your heart and be there for the other person wholly--even if it is just you.
This type of mindfulness communication can be practiced in almost any context, but the mat is a great place to start. The body holds so much wisdom, and when we practice yoga we are actively trying to bring the wisdom of the body and the knowledge of the mind together. Can you open your heart and mind and be honest with yourself on your mat? Doing what feels right according to your deeper self (not your ego self)? Once you let go of the ego and leave self-judgement behind, then you can clear the path for compassionate communication with yourself, then with others.
(A couple of shout outs that really helped me write this blog! Loved this article and their definition of Satya. It also has more info on the other yamas if you are looking for more yoga education: *http://www.princetonyoga.com/about/yoga-101-real-yoga-for-real-people/the-five-yamas/. And Scott Catamas--who I stumbled upon while looking through podcasts. This man is amazing and is an expert on compassionate communication. If you want to poke around on his website, here it is: http://lovecoachscott.com/)
