I love my friends. They’re the best. They are smart, beautiful, generous, and gracious. There are two reasons why I am talking about my friends in a post about loving myself. The first one is that we often think of treating others how we want to be treated, but when thinking about self-talk, I often think it can be the other way around. Would you tell your best friend or your mother how fat or ugly or stupid she is? I may not know you, but chances are that the answer is a resounding NO! The second reason I bring these beauties up here is because a lot of my friends are very very very talented. My husband and most of his friends have PhD’s. A large majority of my closest girlfriends also have or are working towards their PhD’s, as well. If my friends don’t have PhD’s, they are freaking amazingly smart. They have skills and talents that I am in awe of, and although I have arrived at a sound place where I want everything good and perfect my friends, sometimes I just feel like I can’t keep up with them--and this is where the blog post starts.
Am I smart enough to be running my own business? Am I pretty enough to have my pictures on social media? Am I good enough at yoga to teach other people? The list goes on and on, and I am constantly reminding myself that the answer to all of those questions is YES. It is YES no matter who you are. If you want to do something, just do it (in the words of the wise Nike corporation). I tell my students all of the time in class, and I do because I constantly have to tell myself, too. I am right where I need to be in this moment, and, yes, it is ___________ enough. So, I guess, tip #1 from my experience: see if you can recognize your negative self-talk, thank yourself for reminding you of whatever it is, then flip it around or simply just put it away and think of something else (for example, “yes, I am smart enough, and now I am going to focus on writing this blog”).
Why do we all tell ourselves these fabricated stories when we know the truth that is within us? It has always fascinated me that I could always hear my true self behind my negative words of self-doubt. Sometimes we feel like we need to learn how to love ourselves again. I often think that I need to tell myself things so much so that I will eventually believe. In reality, I think I already knew them. When I start thinking about how great all my friends are, it is important for me to maintain my happiness for them and not compare myself to them. We are all beautiful and unique waves in an endless ocean of beauty and depth. I can only be the best version of me. So, I guess, tip #2 from my experience: as you recognize that you are comparing yourself to others, STOP! Be happy for the other person. Celebrate them, and then celebrate yourself for your outstanding and beautiful uniqueness.
Another fun and quick tip you could do right away: with a dry-erase marker, write on your bathroom mirror your mantra for the next day. It could be something like these: “I am smart and beautiful” or “I am strong and healthy” or “I love and respect my body.”
What do you do stop negative self-talk in its tracks? How do you get in touch with your true-self and feel the love? Let us know, so we can all try it out!