We all go in cycles of being more and less self-aware. Sometimes, we can really tune in to what our bodies, our hearts, and are minds are trying to tell us to do or what we need, but other times, not so much! When we can really tune-in and listen to our bodies and minds, then we can start speaking from the heart more! To me, speaking from the heart is like channeling empathy with everything that I say (maybe not everything I think at first, but working through it before I open my mouth). This can get a little tiring, but like everything else it takes practice. A part of this practice is to be gentle with yourself when you find yourself not speaking or thinking from the heart, which can happen..often!
Several months ago, I noticed myself cycling into "self-unawareness." I was getting angrier, more jealous, and more irritable--all things that I value NOT being. It did not feel good, and that's when speaking from the heart really occurred to me. Why wouldn't I be listening to my heart and channeling my compassion and empathy? So, I asked myself these two questions:
1. How do I speak to myself?
2. How do I hope others will speak to me?
Yes, sometimes we are not the nicest people to ourselves, but we can certainly understand where we are coming from (most of the time). This can go the other way, too. If you have trouble with negative self-talk, ask yourself, "Would I talk to my mom or best friend or my partner this way?" If you are saying something mean, the answer is probably NO!
When people start acting weird (or just not like their usual selves) or they do something that doesn't seem quite right, I will try to ask myself, "When do I do weird things that probably rub people the wrong way?" And I always come up with the same answer: either I am having a rough day or maybe I am under some weird pressure/stress that is making me act funky! We ALL experience distress, and we are all affected in different ways by it. But even when you are experiencing something stressful or someone else around you is, can you dig a little deeper? Can you feel your breath and your heart beat? Can you treat yourself and that person with empathy and love?
The more you speak from the heart, the less anxiety you will have! If you say things out of love, you will probably ask yourself less, "What was I thinking when I said that!?" or "Why did I say that?!" Because you will know why you said things and whatever you said was meant to be a direct communication from your heart to the listener's heart.
Speaking from the heart isn't always about responding to negativity with love! It just went there for me today. It is also just about letting your true self be heard. When was the last time you told your friend or partner a reason why you are grateful for them or how good they are at something? Your heart feels that all of the time, but how often do we verbalize it? Last time you looked at someone with admiration and respect and love, did you tell them? I have just started practicing letting my heart open up to friends and family a little more, and it feels great!
Having trouble putting your feelings into words? Try filling in these blanks next time you are wanting to express your heart:
You are so amazing at ___________. It is so cool that you know how to do that!
I am really grateful for your ability to _____________. I don't know what I would do without it!
Do you realize how good you make me feel when you say/do __________________.
Thank you for being so _____________________. You are the BOMB.COM.